The late Thomas Leonard, grandfather of modern coaching said “Life is about us, and it’s not personal…And yet it can feel so personal.”

We are self-obsessed creatures, with complex psychological perceptive mechanisms that are virtually incapable of taking in information without filtering it through our own beliefs about ourselves and our world.

So, it IS all personal. If you’ve noticed it, it’s personal to you in some way. If it’s in your life, it’s personal to you in some way. Yet, and this is what Leonard was getting at, IMHO…You shouldn’t take it personally. That’s where so many of us get into trouble.

Yes, things happen. People say things. All of it will come to you filtered through your own sense of self, ideas and emotional state. So, it is all about you. But don’t let it upset you. It’s personal for all of us! It’s not all about you!

• Sound paradoxical?Understanding this distinction will make the difference between feeling like life is out to get you, or using life as a giant learning opportunity.